Sarah asked:
Interesting you post this today as I was about to ask for a follow up on your remark in the previous post about going into aggressive Israeli mode with the real estate agent.
I wondered if you could elaborate your thoughts on what the differences are in the two cultures where it is acceptable in one and not in the other. Is it here in Australian culture and just passive aggressively hidden. Is it effective when you use it in Australia or does it turn people off to you?
Also if you can bring this side of you out when needed does it mean are you suppressing it the rest of the time in the work place and at home or is it not a natural side to your personality that you have to bring out when back in Israel?
I was breaking my head
trying to think how to best approach this question when help came
from an unexpected source.
There’s this guy I often end standing next to on the platform as we wait for a train to come and take us home at the end of our work days. Both he and I stand roughly where the train’s doors would end up when the train arrives so we can board as quickly as possible (and thus also maximize our chances for a seat). The guy has a trick strategy, though: as the train approaches he steps forward, beyond the yellow safety line; and once it becomes clear where the door would end up he makes his way there, ahead of all the other would be passengers still behind the line. The strategy works: he’s almost always first on the train. That is, unless he has me in his path: when I see him about to step into “my territory” I step forward, too, but unlike him I do not make any other move to break the unofficial queuing system behind us. All I do is block him; by now he learned there is no point in trying to push me to the side (yes, he tried).
There’s this guy I often end standing next to on the platform as we wait for a train to come and take us home at the end of our work days. Both he and I stand roughly where the train’s doors would end up when the train arrives so we can board as quickly as possible (and thus also maximize our chances for a seat). The guy has a trick strategy, though: as the train approaches he steps forward, beyond the yellow safety line; and once it becomes clear where the door would end up he makes his way there, ahead of all the other would be passengers still behind the line. The strategy works: he’s almost always first on the train. That is, unless he has me in his path: when I see him about to step into “my territory” I step forward, too, but unlike him I do not make any other move to break the unofficial queuing system behind us. All I do is block him; by now he learned there is no point in trying to push me to the side (yes, he tried).
Why am I going through
these motions? I suggest a lot of it has to do with being raised an
Israeli. I got to develop strategies for optimizing my place in a
queue without violating the rights of others on one hand, and on the
other hand I take measures to prevent others from breaking queuing
ranks. You know what else? The other day this guy I’m talking about
arrived at the station with a friend. I was not in the least
surprised to hear the two speak to one another in very Israeli Hebrew.
The question of what it
is with Israelis and aggressive behavior at queues can be easily
expanded in scope to ask the more interesting question of what it is
that drives certain cultures a certain way. I will try and offer some
speculations there, but before I do so I will offer an argument as to
what is definitely not a contributor to cultural differences: there
is nothing inherently anti queue in the Israeli pool of genes; anyone
born and raised in Israel would be at least aware of the local
queuing culture regardless of demographics, and most people would
join the game. My proof: try standing at a German queue
and you will find it very similar to the Israeli experience.
Now that we’ve
eliminated one explanation let me go back to the question of cultural
drivers. Having been raised an Israeli, then having lived in
Australia to the point of considering myself an Australian more than
any other nationality, and having also been extensively exposed to English
culture through my extended family, I think I qualify to contribute
to this discussion. That is, something more than the basic cry over the dreariness of
British food. As I will be mostly comparing impressions from
these three cultures I will politely ignore cultural catalysts such
as literacy levels despite their significant impact: this is because
of the generally equal playing field our scope is limited to with
three affluent Western societies.
With that in mind, I
will offer the following main cultural contributors in what I see as
descending order of impact: weather, congestion and history. Weather
affects everything from available food to general stress/distress
levels and generic levels of extrovert-ness vs. introvert-ness.
Congestion has direct impact to how often one needs to interact with
others, and in effect how often one needs to tolerate others /
struggle with others. History invokes the cultural heritage card, as
is the case with England and its ridiculous love affair with the
monarchy as well as tea. The latter, while so well rooted you’d
think it goes back to the days of the Roman Empire, is actually a
recent affair; which goes to show how myths can entrench themselves
ever so easily. In the case of Israel, the history of the Jewish
people causes what I consider a not too unreasonable “they’re all
out to get us” complex that filters down through various positive
feedback mechanisms to the level of the individual. That same
individual goes to lead a life feeling eternally prosecuted; couple
the heat, sweat and congestion and you get a nation of people you
don’t want to mess with. And you definitely don’t want to queue up with them.
In comparison,
Australia is tranquil and easy going. The average weather is easier
to tolerate (disclaimer: Melbourne winters are a killer!) and one is
generally left to their own devices, for better or worse. However,
does this mean that Aussies are better than Israelis? As I have
already stated, my answer would be a definite “no”. Australia is
repeatedly proving itself to be a nation where selfishness rules, as
symbolized by the Liberal party (currently in federal opposition but
leading the poles by a mile). Between treating asylum seekers like
criminals, discriminating against minorities in job recruitment
or forcing dominant faiths upon others at public schools, Australia
has its dark side too. The main difference? The average Australia is
rarely required to expose their teeth in public, unlike the Israeli
who is well trained in doing so. This gives the well versed Israeli
an advantage in confrontational scenarios: they’ve been to that
movie before and know what to do and how to behave, whereas the
average Aussie can be a tad clueless for a while until they lose
their inhibitions.
Needless to say, I am
generalizing here. While I will never claim not to have practiced
immoral activities, I will do my best to respect and withhold a well
behaved queue and have done so even as an Israeli. On the other hand,
the process of Australization is making some sort of a hybrid of me:
the same processes that affect Aussie culture, the
weather/congestion/history and all, are now affecting me just as they
affect everyone else around me. I am, I can safely say, much less
edgy about my way; I do not feel as if I need to look behind my back,
so to speak, as much. There are negative implications there, too: my
skills as a driver have significantly deteriorated since migrating to
Australia’s relatively open roads. Driving here is much less
challenging with people not constantly trying to cut me off; over time I forgot how to deal with challenging
road scenarios.
I have broadened the
discussion rather than provide a direct answer, but I think I did
address the original question. We can continue the discussion in the
comments.
If you have any other
questions or suggestions to this blog, feel free to drop them by.
Image by Cia de Foto, Creative Commons license