One of the sad truths in life is that you can't watch a not-live sporting event and expect not to know the final score so that you have yourself a thrill. If there ever were days in which you could tape a football match in order to watch it later while pretending to keep all the original tension, these days are long gone. Between radio, TV, the internet, colleagues, your mother in law, an invading alien - someone is bound to tell you the score when you least expect it. You cannot just turn yourself off from this world, not even when you want to, and not even for a few hours.
I relearned this lesson last week, after recording the [very] morning Champions League matches involving both Manchester United and Arsenal under the false aspiration to watch the matches at night after we put Dylan to bed. To be fair, I didn't really expect to be able to pass the day without knowing the scores, even if I did withhold internet surfing during the day.
What really put me down was the way in which I got to know the scores. I went inside work's elevator; the luck of the draw brought me one of the new refurbished elevators, with revised and polished interiors. Thing is, these elevators also feature an LCD screen that flashes completely redundant trivia down your face, as if making an extra effort to generate additional carbon emissions while dumbing you down. That time around, that stupid LCD flashed me the scores I was trying so hard to avoid.
Who could have guessed an elevator would be the news breaker?
Perhaps it's for the better. My theory is that my team tends to do worse when I'm not watching them live, and I have a perfectly plausible explanation for that. You see, when I'm not watching live, the players have no way of hearing the instructions I issue them with; I'm to blame when they mess things up.