Friday, 31 October 2008

How to become a Cricket Expert

Living in Australia, and Melbourne in particular, pits one into scenarios where one needs to demonstrate advanced analysis expertise in rather esoteric types of sports. Sports like cricket.
Mission impossible? Well, no longer. Yours truly has conducted extensive research on the matter, and it seems as if performing the following would not only get you out of jail for not knowing a thing about cricket but also guarantee you will be appreciated as a world renowned cricket expert.
When asked about a particular cricket match, all you need to do is:
1. Put on a serious expression on your face.
2. Set your gaze to the far horizon and your focus to the side, avoiding all eye contact and putting on an impression of deep thought.
3. Shake your head and utter the following slowly, as if thinking deeply about every syllable: "Tough - Wicket".

That’s it.
In this superficial world of ours you should be careful not to perform the above too often or you will find yourself acting as a TV sports commentator within a fortnight. Like all good things, use the above strategy sparingly in order to avoid the over tantalization of your listeners.

1 comment:

Short Backward Square said...

Keep going with the cricket - you'll get there.