That is roughly the point I’m currently at.
In what is by now the ancient past it used to take much less to make me look around for another job. Not necessarily get another job, just look around; looking alone is good enough to make me feel I still have the initiative and I am not totally helpless.
Today things are different. Today I’m held captive. Not by work; no one is holding me on leash, and as far as employers treating their employees nicely I am definitely on the better side of the Aussie scale. My leash is the direct result of my own personal circumstances: having a mortgage, working towards extending our home, having a child, and having no one immediately next to us to help us with parental tasks. With such a leash around your neck you too would absorb a lot of crap before looking around.
Then there are matters of convenience. Starting a new job means potential collisions with your current holiday plans. It means you’ll need to start suiting up for work (Incredibly detestable in my book, especially in winter when it’s cold and the suit doesn’t warm you or in summer when it’s warm and the suit boils you. That is, it’s always a pain). It means you need to rearrange your life, if ever so slightly, to accommodate for your new employment; with a child around, and with me being so used to doing things the way I do, those slight adjustments can be a big pain.
Being tied up so effectively triggers thoughts around my career prospects and what happened to those when I decided to migrate to Australia. It only takes a brief look at my Linkedin to see what my peers are up to, and the majority of them have very flashy job titles – much flashier than mine, stuck as I am in Australia, the land where there is no real IT industry since we can get everything we want by digging it off the ground. It’s hard to remind myself that I was the one who decided, and still stands behind the decision, to take a low career profile in order to be able to achieve the peace and quiet that I value much more than a flashy jetset lifestyle. Times like this make me wonder whether I really made that decision or whether it was forced on me by circumstances: at the time I migrated to Australia I was under the illusion the IT market here would be better than Israel’s given the population is three times larger; how wrong could I be? It was only later, as I frustratingly looked around for job and learned to settle for nothing much that I determined the trade off between a career and a life is worthwhile. Regardless of whether choices were made or forced, thinking about my studies and my qualifications and comparing those to what I actually do at work makes me cringe.
Which leaves me where I currently am. The logical thing to do, as I am being told, is to start looking for another job. Being the irrational being I am I settle with expressing my frustration over the web. For now.
Image by michelhrv, Creative Commons license