Tuesday, 16 February 2010

We Fade to Grey

Have you ever heard people saying that women are trouble? Well, today you'll hear me saying it, albeit with a reservation: Women are trouble as far as Facebook is concerned.
I'm not talking about women using Facebook to get a confidence boost. Men are just as guilty: my experience indicates many if not most Facebook comments are placed only so as to get a pat on the shoulder from one's friends as they tell you how cute/cool/generally good looking you are. Who cares if they're lying and you're not that different to everyone else? I don't.
No, what I'm talking about is the hardship women give you when you want to find them on Facebook. Have you tried to look for women you knew ages ago, like, say, women you knew while studying in uni? Well, chances are they got married. And once they did, chances are they changed their name. And that's it: game over, you don't stand a chance of finding them anymore.
Sometimes I do manage to find them, though: mostly by identifying them as other friends' friends. And you know what I keep on noticing about them? I can't help notice how these women, which were once the good lookers that broke my heart or were in some way or another the subject of my fantasies, look - well - they look middle aged. They look ordinary. Age took their glamor away.
I know I'm treading on dangerous grounds here, so I'll make it clear: I'm not saying that older women are ugly. What I am saying is that when you last saw a woman and she was twenty, and then the next time you see her she is forty, you should not expect her to have maintained all of the looks that come with a young age. Yet you do, mentally, even if you're not consciously aware of it, simply because the last mental picture your brain maintains of that specific person was taken at the time when they were bold and beautiful.
And I really don't think this observation of mine should be taken negatively. I consider it as an enforcement to my view that there's more to people than the shallowness of their looks, which is mostly to do with their particular accident of birth. If anything, this observation teaches me that when one is looking for a partner in life, looks should be much lower on the agenda than they tend to be; once the shining is gone you'd be stuck with everything else but the looks. Don't envy those footballers that marry supermodels; they'd dumb one another to death in a few years time.
Don't get me wrong: I know this aging phenomenon applies to me just as well. I got the exact same reaction but in reverse when an army friend looked at my Flickr photos while chatting; his first reaction was "ooh, we are getting old" followed by something along the lines of "where's your hair". The reason why I don't notice me getting older is that I see myself on a daily basis rather than on the twenty year interval through which I'm exposed to some of the women in my past.
That, plus the fact looks were never my strong side.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I heard today men age better than women because they have more testosterone which cause more oil which preserves skin better

Moshe Reuveni said...

I thought it's the other way around and testosterone ages you (e.g., lose of hair). Regardless, I can say that in my honest opinion women tend to always look much better than men.