Thursday, 28 January 2010

Desperado

I was walking by this Catholic book shop the other day when I noticed a rather strange book staring back at me through their window: The book was called My First Bible Stories, and its cover featured a picture of a Noah's Ark with a couple of fun loving koalas smiling back. That, to me, smells like desperation.
The problem is obvious: For a start, koalas aren't mentioned in the bible; not even once. Neither do any of their other native Australian animals. Second, how does one explain koalas migrating all the way from Turkey (the ark's resting place) to Australia together with its Aussie relatives, without leaving a shroud of evidence for them passing through along the way?
The solution is easy: put a koala on the cover of kids' first bibles and shut their mouths for good by letting them take koalas on board the ark for granted before they can think up the question themselves.
Me? I consider books such as this to be the best way to destroy kids' abilities to critically think for themselves. I'm of the opinion that anyone buying these books to a child should be convicted of child molestation. As in, messing up with young brains.

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