People might think that we're hosting a normal baby in our house. Cute, yet normal. We know better, though: we are the parents of a superhero.
If you thought the bionic woman had a thing going for her with her super hearing, think again. In our house, baby Dylan is better known to answer by the name of Batman; up until late today we thought nothing else can explain his superior hearing.
We turn in bed in our bedroom while he is fast asleep in his room and Batman hears us. We switch the microwave oven in the kitchen and Batman hears us. You step next to his room while his door is closed and he's supposed to be fast asleep and Batman will hear you. We're now watching DVD's at half the volume they're supposed to be played at because we don't want Batman to hear us and wake up.
With great powers come great responsibilities. Indeed, it seems like there's a heavy price to be paid for superpowers.
For a while now, Dylan has been suffering from ear infections. It almost got to a fortnightly cycle, killing our supply of sick days, and with winter knocking on our doors we were fearing the worst. So were the doctors, so they gave us a prescription for low dosage long term antibiotics to help prevent the repetitive infections.
We thought we were fine. We thought we were cruising.
Last week Dylan has had another cold, but by the end of the week we thought it was over. On Friday night we rented a DVD and got ourselves a "support the crazy evangelical Christian" pizza (better known as Dominos Pizza) in the hope of having a good time; we ended up tip toeing across the house instead so as not to wake Batman up, and that was after a few hours of trying to settle him to sleep - something we didn't need to do for some 8 months now.
He seemed alright since. Grumpy, a bit weird, but healthy. Surely, that was just the antibiotics' fault.
Today Dylan went to childcare, and at 14:00 I got the dreaded phonecall asking me to pick him up because he wouldn't stop crying all day. I was annoyed; the childcare place seems too trigger happy with these calls, and them not being able to pacify him when he's generally alright sounded to me like them not doing their job rather than anything really being wrong.
Still, we picked him up and took him to the doctor. There we discovered that he has a highish fever (how come childcare didn't notice that?) and, worse, that he has yet another ear infection - despite being on antibiotics for three weeks now.
Batman's superpowers turned out to be simple reactiions to the pain in his ears.
Our next steps are rather scary. We have been referred to an ear specialist, where - after a long while, given the waiting list for those specialists - we will probably be told that Mr Batman Dylan needs to be operated on in order to install grommets in his ears.
For a superhero, our Dylan has not been having an easy go with life so far.